The Three Little Pigs
Once upon a time there were three fat grumpy brother pigs in France. They were famous for stealing, fighting, arguing, hurting the neighborhoods in the town for their own sakes.
One day, as usual, the oldest one of the pigs went to the supermarket to fill up it's stomach. He was so hungry that he decided to sit down in the middle of the supermarket with the unpaid foods and began to eat. After finishing all of the foods he chose to eat, he stuffed up more foods in his huge bag pack and went back home. Nobody had the courage to stop the pig because they all knew what would happen to themselves and knew nobody could win them over.
The problem started from then. In the middle of the night, the oldest one began to roll on the ground all crunched up sweating and screaming "Stomach ache!!!". The other two pigs didn't know what to do because it was their very first time in their life to know what stomach ache was. Not one of the pigs had a stomach ache before. The oldest one was still on the ground quacking for help so the two of the pigs decided to take the oldest one for help to their next door neighbor. They knocked and knocked their neighbor and the dark house lightened up. The owner of the house saw the pigs knocking on their door through the curtain but the lights turned off and nobody came outside for the pigs. They tried all of the neighborhoods in their street but not a single neighbor helped them. The sun had rise they slowly walked back to their home to check his older brother. When they arrived back home, the oldest one was still on the ground but he was grey in coloured. The two pigs shacked, hit and yelled to wake him up and then realized there were no hope for his dead brother to wake up. That day, two of the lift over pigs made a funeral for their oldest brother and decided to pack everything up to move to Italy by the shock they got from their neighbor hoods. They thought the true rumors about them didn't exist in Italy.
The two pigs bought a house next to the food market for their convenience, thinking of starting the habit of stealing again. The two pigs had already forgot about their dead brother. Meanwhile the youngest one went to their new neighbor the other one went to the super market. The pig came from the super market hand full of, of course with unpaid foods. He began to eat while he waited for his brother who went to threat their neighbor for food. He fell asleep and the time ticked to the next day. The youngest one didn't come back home.
The pig decided to go to the next door with curiosity. He knocked and knocked his next door. The dark house lightened up and the door started to open up slowly. A big big wolf welcomed the pig with a knife on his hand. "I was waiting for you. Did you come for your brother? Well come in come in, he wasn't very tasty as he was the smallest." Through the open door, the pig could see his youngest brother laid on the wolf's table with a folk tucked on his belly. As the pig woke up in the reality, the pig ran as fast as he could back to his house and locked the door and when he was about to close the windows it was too late, the wolf had already come inside his home. The next day the pigs house was out for sale by the wolf.
As the time passed and the wolf told his grand children. Once when I was working alone for my kids education alone, there were three fat grumpy brother pigs who stole all of the foods everyday from my wife and children s' house in France....
The story is well written. I enjoyed reading how you changed the actual 'The Three Little Pigs' story that everyone knows. I look forward to reading your final version of this fan fiction. It was funny to have the three little pigs as the villains.
ReplyDeleteAwesome work Grace. But best to look carefully how you structure your story and not to be so vague about each character. I found it difficult to follow and the overall story is very jumpy. Look close at the sentence connection with eachother and also most importantly how the characters develop throughout the story. For example, how does the three pigs develop and also with the wolf, think about how to bring in new situations to the pigs and also bring the reader into the story gently rather than so aburptly.I think the canon you have chosen has huge potential and I am sure your final will be impressive.
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